Category: Let's talk
I have been friends with this person for a while. We've had our ups and downs, but we've somehow still managed to keep our friendship going in spite of all of that. There always seemed to be a rivalry or competition between the two of us, but for a while, I tried to pretend it didn't get to me.
Lately though, i've been calling her, and we'd been talking quite a bit. She seems to insist in talking about my last relationship, and about the person I was with. She's constantly bringing him up, and seems to find every way to rub it in my face that they talk differently than I talk to him. And even though I've been around more often, he seems to appreciate her friendship more, and even though the past few days has been more about us talking, rather than her calling him, she seems to want to compete with me.
Also I dont want to know what she thinks, yet she insists on telling me. She talks about how much he trusts her, and a lot of crap that I dont really care to hear about. But I dont want to tell her anything because I feel like if I do tell her how I feel, it might cause problems, or it may show signs of weakness, therefore letting her know how to get me mad, and I know that is her purpose. But I feel like the more I sit and listen to it the more it's hurting me! i would really rather be able to restrengthen my friendship with this guy on my own, without her treating me like a minority in this situation, and I feel like the more I talk to her, and she brings this up, the closer I am to telling her off. Can someone help please?
I say just drop the relationship with her once and for all. It's easier said than done, but you don't need someone like her in your life. You deserve better and there are much nicer friends out there that could use someone like you as a friend; not some competative, insecure immature drama seeker like her. Then, you can go on with whatever your intentions are with your ex. She's just a mean skanky girl who deserves no friends and definitely no man.
Lol you make me feel better! :)
Lol and I must agree, the girl is full of drama! And yeah it's easier said than done, but I'm kind of starting to see that talking to her is just causing me to feel more down, and I also feel like I have to compete with her, and that's something I dont want to do. I just want piece! I've often wished that I could have an equal friendship wit hthe 2, but I'm starting to feel like that probably wont happen, and that I'll have to choose between my ex and her. And there's strong sides to both, just as there are negative aspects that come with each of those friendships, I just didn't want to have to choose! I wonder if it's better to not be friends with either!
Maybe it is better to get rid of both of them. But that's your choice. However, the girl has got to go. She's not a conducive member of your circle of friends.
I have to agree. the girl sounds like nothing but drama, and she obviously doesn't know how to treat a friend. She's got to go.
agree with everyone who's said this girl has to be taken out of the picture.
If you would care to listen to a technically minded and logical opinion, you may do so below.
In life, you tend to become like the ones you associate with. Or your experiences will begin to mirror their lifestyle.
If you surround yourself with negative friends, you will soon become negative yourself. If you surround yourself by drunks and drug abusers, you may find yourself doing thus. If you surround yourself with positive people, you will find yourself living life more freely. If you surround yourself by rich people, you may just find yourself being so.
You see, you are like a glass of water. If you place that glass of water in the refridgerator it will become cold, if you leave it out, it will become room temperature. That is why its crucial to recognize the types of people you associate with and modify your situation if you are not satisfied. Whether you believe it or not, a person is a composite of whom they talk to, hang out with, and even live with for an extended period of time.
-A person who lives in the ghetto and does not know how to leave his/her situation will spend the rest of their lives in the ghetto.
-A person who is not happy with themselves will seek to hurt others so that that person will feel better. Associating with such a person will drain your resources and cause your life to be miserable.
-A person who is always negative will sooner or later cause you to become so.
Recognizing your situation as being unsatisfactory is the first step, but having the courage to disassociate yourself from the "norm" is key to having a more productive life. I grew up in the ghetto, had friends who would not make it too far in life, but I made the conscious decision and effort to leave all that behind. IT worked for me, and it will work for you if you make that effort.
If there is one thing I would like anyone here to understand, its this:
In life, you either make your own decisions, or someone else will make them for you.
Indecision is a decision not to decide, thereby permitting another to do it for you.
Okay, here's the thing, if a "friend" makes you feel miserable more than not, then it's time to reavaluate that friendship, and decide whether or not this person is healthy to have in your life. If this so called friend is a constant misery, this is a toxic friend, which is not good, so she should be gotten rid of soon. I tollerate that for so long, and try to work it out, but if it continues, then it's time for a break of ties. Just my advice.
i agree with alll that has been said here. vYOur opinions are wise and on target. One thing I'd like to add. Do you want a guy in your life who puts up with this nonsense from your friend? It sounds to me like he is contributing to the problem as well. You can do better on all counts.